Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize