just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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