I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
