These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
