His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I am spending my child support on dildos
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
