i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
