You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Randomize
