the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
