you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
