dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
