so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
