please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
No more Irish car bombs ever.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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