You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
