New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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