My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
