we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
