Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
