My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
