R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.