Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
