I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
