I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
