i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Semen is not good for contacts.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
