ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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