do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
