Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
