i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
