Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
