yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
