There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
