i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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