wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize