whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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