Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
