He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize