I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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