Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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