do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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