Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
