i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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