Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
