is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
