Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
