Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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