She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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