doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
