ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
