yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
