If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
