Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
