is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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