does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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