I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
