she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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