The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
