i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
operation have a gay friend backfired
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
