There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
