kristin has been a bad kristin
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
