Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
