I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
we're making bets on your personal life
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i think i just lost a toe
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
