so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i think i have herpe
just one?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
