'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
