Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize