I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
