i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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