She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
