You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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