What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
