Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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