my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
