Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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