either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
