"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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