I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
